Sleep In Heavenly Peace
by Ster J
Summary: It is the last few hours of Spock's life. Where, oh where is his Jim? Character death SLASH


Title: Sleep in heavenly peace

Author: Ster Julie

Codes: K/S; (S/Saa implied); K/S calendar 2008;

Rating: PG

Part 1 of 1

WARNING: Character death

Summary: It is the last few hours of Spock's life. Where, oh where is his Jim?

A/N: Thank you to Dale for a beautiful scrap of dialogue. Flashbacks and other worldly dialogue are in _italics._

--ooOoo--

_James T. Kirk was happy to be in his cabin hideaway. It was nearly Christmas and there was still much to do to prepare for the holiday. Spock's _plak tow_ had finally burned out and Kirk was using Spock's recovery time to tackle some household chores._

_"Look at you, lolling about," Kirk teased as he hung a fresh pine garland on the mantle. Spock didn't move. Kirk stopped what he was doing and checked to make sure Spock was breathing. "Wow, that _pon farr_ stuff really wore you out this time."_

Jim dances at the periphery of my vision. Try as I might to turn my head, to turn my gaze to catch sight of him, I fail because I am too tired, too weak. Oh, how I long to see my Jim, my _t'hy'la,_ with something other than the eyes of my memory.

_Kirk poked at the embers in the fireplace. "Your _pon farr_ had great timing, Spock. Iowa is beautiful at Christmas." He added more fuel to the fire. "I should probably think of hauling more wood in here."_

Occasionally I hear muted voices speaking to me or over me. I do not hear the annoying susurrations of medical devices, so I do not believe that I am in any kind of hospital or sickbay. The bed is far too comfortable, the room far too pleasantly warm for a medical facility. Am I … am I home?

"He has far outlived our predictions, my Lady, but the end is indeed at hand. My staff will see to his needs and call you when …"

"You may stand by to assist me, Healer, but _I_ will see to his needs."

I startle at the sharp exchange. Ah, Saavik-kam, you are still so reliable, so formidable. I am honored by your devotion to me, of how you supported my relationship with Jim, of how you maintained that I should stay alive to search for and to love him another day. Without your insistent help I would have died in the subsequent _pon farrs_ since Jim …

Jim? Jim, where are you? Will you come back for me? You were my first love, my only love. Saavik always knew that and respected my feelings for you. Amanda once called her "a good girl." She is still a good girl. Don't hate her for taking care of me. She helped me keep your memory alive, to keep _me_ alive for over 120 years.

_"I put the kettle on for your tea, Spock. Yeah, I know that the warmer would have been more efficient, but too bad. Oh! There's a message for you from Saavik. It seems that hanging around humans has corrupted her into observing such a frivolous, human custom as Christmas! She sends her holiday greetings."_

"He seems agitated. His hands are moving."

"He is searching for his _t'hyla_ again."

"His _t'hyla?_ Is that not you, my Lady?"

"No, Healer. It is not."

Hands. There are too many hands on me! Why can't they leave me alone? Why must they bathe me, change me, turn me? I want just one pair of hands on me -- Jim's hands.

_"Hey, I know what you need! A back rub! You need a good, old-fashioned backrub to loosen all of those overworked muscles. You can reciprocate and do me later when you are not so sleepy. Do me? Ooh, I like the sound of that!"_

Jim? Is that you I sense? There seems to be much more substance to you. I can see you standing in front of that window. Come over here where I can see you better. That _is_ you, isn't it, Jim?

_"Wow, it's really beginning to snow. Look at the big, fat flakes! I'd better pull in some more firewood before the wind blows drifts against the doors. Be right back."_

No, Jim! Don't leave me!

"His movements are weaker yet more erratic."

I feel a hand against my face. Jim? Where are you, Jim?

"Help me to turn him on his side. No, Spock. Do not fight us. Let us make you more comfortable."

"That is the first sound I have heard him make in days."

"We will be finished soon, Spock. I will drape your limbs over this pillow and let you rest."

Ah, Saavik! You have found Jim for me! You have placed him in my arms. I crush Jim to my chest and thread my hand through his hair. I move my legs to entwine with his and press against him so tightly as if to draw him into my very being.

But something is wrong. I cannot feel Jim's arms around me. I cannot sense his warm breath on my neck or see his eyes or hear his voice. Is this a dream, a cosmic joke? _Jim!_

There! There is a hand on my head, a warm voice against my ear. Not Jim. Saavik? Where's my Jim?

"Spock, be calm. Jim is very near. He is coming to escort you Otherside. Go to him, Spock. He is waiting for you. You have waited so long to be reunited with him. Let go."

Saavik? Your voice sounds as if you are … Wait. I cannot leave yet. I … Wait. There is something I have to do first. I have a duty I must perform …

"Your work is done here, Spock. Your station is secured and you are free to go."

But …

"Dismissed."

I gather my remaining, fleeing strength. I _must_ discharge this last duty. I must honor she who honored me with her tender service. I fight to control my trembling lips.

"Thank … you."

I hear Saavik's breath catch.

"Oh, Spock. It has been my honor to serve you. Go now. Jim is here. Don't keep him waiting."

I manage to nod my head minutely.

_"Brr!" Kirk said stamping the snow off his boots and dropping a bundle of wood by the fireplace. "It's colder than hell out there. I know. Mixed metaphors. So sue me, but not before I stoke this fire. Aahh. There. You'll be toasty in no time, Spock._

_"Still sleepy? I hate what that _plak tow_ does to you. I'll move the kettle off the fire. The tea can wait. I know what you need. There's nothing better than cuddling by the fire with a raging snowstorm outside. Oh. I see that something is raging in here, too. Do you need to make love again? No? Maybe later under the tree. Did I tell you that I brought in the Christmas tree? You can help me decorate it later, and then we can unwrap a couple of presents under it, if you know what I mean. In the meantime, move over."_

"He seems so very peaceful now, my Lady."

Saavik sees the small smile on Spock's lips and brushes away a tear.

"Of course, Healer. He finally has found his _t'hy'la._"

_I turn my attention to the warm, solid weight in my arms. I feel strong arms around me and a familiar face nuzzling against my neck. I look down and see those beloved gold-green eyes looking at me once again. I take a deep, easy inhalation and breathe out, "Oh, Jim. My Jim."_

_My beloved gives me his infamous grin, the one that captured the heart of this one very lost and lonely science officer so many, many years ago. I look into those adoring eyes and I cannot help but smile._

_Jim begins to hum as he strokes my back. I recognize the tune as one my mother employed to rock me to sleep during my first experience of Christmas. It is as Jim sings "Sleep in heavenly peace" that I realize that I have died, that I am free of my physical bonds, that what I hold so tenderly in my arms is no memory, no dream but rather my new reality. I sigh with deep contentment. I know I have found my eternal peace here, safe in the circle of my Jim's arms._

END


End file.
